


After Phasma

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Death of Phasma, F/M, Finn Needs A Hug (Star Wars), For John Boyega, Past Child Abuse, Pre-Het, Pre-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Protective Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:29:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21772231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Finn and Rey discuss some of what Finn couldn’t tell Rey before.
Relationships: Finn/Rey (Star Wars)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31
Collections: Finnrey Fanfic Connection, Genprompt Bingo Round 17





	After Phasma

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Vivid
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Call this a likely series of stuff I’m writing for Finn after his actor, John Boyega, got shat on. (Seriously, why haven’t we canceled cancel culture yet?)

The _Falcon_ was still in hyperspace, and Rey couldn’t say that she could sleep. Even pacing the halls of the ship — a ship she hadn’t realized could have so many corridors — she swore that she could all but hear Kylo’s anguish over their Bond. Even though she could have sworn she had blocked it, at least for the moment. Blocked it — would there ever be a way to sever it? She couldn’t help but wonder.   
  
It was reaching the main hold that she saw Finn, still keeping watch over that new girl. Had he met someone else? She didn’t have room to feel jealous, of course. And considering how she had done worse than Finn had...  
  
“Hey,” Finn said. He sounded a little tired. Rey wondered how he had stayed up so long.   
  
“Hey,” Rey said. “How long have you been up?”  
  
“A while. I can’t leave Rose — besides, I don’t think I can sleep anyway, what with...” He trailed off.   
  
“With what?” Rey said.   
  
“I killed Phasma,” Finn said. “My...former commanding officer, I guess you could say.” A beat. “My jailer, more like it.”  
  
“Was she the one who...took you?” Rey said.   
  
Finn nodded, grimly. “I wasn’t the only one. I’m thinking of coming back for the others, if I can. Far as I know, Hux and Phasma were most onboard with the idea. Kylo...well, I didn’t get the impression he liked it. Then again, he didn’t do anything to stop it, so...” He shrugged.   
  
Rey nodded. “So you’re still struggling,” she said.   
  
“Yeah.” Finn ran a hand through short-cropped hair. “I was taken pretty young. I don’t know how young. Sometimes I get impressions, feelings. Like my family didn’t want me to go. And Phasma...she was my commanding officer. I sometimes wondered if she was like me. Taken from a family she never knew, and doing the same to others. I guess I killed her though, so I’ll never know. I remember a lot of propaganda being drilled into my head, about how we were fighting for a glorious cause, how there would be order where there was chaos...and then my first mission came. I’d never killed anyone in my life, mind you, and when I saw those people on Jakku...” Finn swallowed. “Ren ordered them killed. I guess his justification was what Phasma gave: anyone who sheltered a Resistance sympathizer was the enemy and needed to be ‘dealt with’. But they hadn’t even done anything. I...” Finn’s voice cracked. “Sometimes I swear I can hear them begging for mercy. In my memories, at least. I know I couldn’t fire. Not when they were innocents.”  
  
Rey took Finn’s hand. She was struck by how easily that came now, considering their rocky beginnings. “And you won,” she said. “You could have done the unthinkable and you chose not to. I just can’t believe the First Order would be so evil.”  
  
Finn smiled without humor. “They think the ends justify the means, I guess,” he said. "Or they just really like hurting people. But yeah — it was actually Poe Dameron who helped me get out. He claims I saved him, in more ways than one...” A gentler laugh. “I think we saved each other, really. No one saved the other in particular. We had our parts to play. I got him out because it was the right thing to do, he gave me my name. And then I met you on Jakku, and...well, you know what happened.”  
  
Rey squeezed his hand tight. “Finn...there aren’t any words for how brave you were. Still are, actually. You broke your programming, you broke free. And...” She sighed. “You talked about how I looked at you like no one ever had. You don’t know that...you did that to me too. You asked if I was okay, which I don’t recall anyone ever doing. And...”  
  
She paused. It was too soon to confess anything. Not when someone who was dear to Finn was unconscious. It would be unfair to the woman, and it would be unfair to Finn.   
  
“And I’m glad I met you,” she said. It sounded anticlimactic, just saying that. But it was the truth, in the end. “I’m sorry Phasma treated you the way she did. You deserved a childhood. You deserved more.”  
  
“So did you,” Finn said. He sighed. “It’s going to be hard. Realizing that Phasma’s dead. Still, Hux is still alive, and unless Ren’s somehow had a change of heart, Hux is still going to be rounding up more kids to use as stormtroopers. I have to go back for them at one point, Rey.”  
  
“I’ll go with you.” Rey would be damned if she was separated from Finn again.   
  
Finn’s smile was warm, assured. “Yeah,” he said. “I know.”


End file.
